Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Scary Statistics!

I have heard a range of statistics and all of them are dismal... From as low as 9% to as high as 33% of men who go to the bathroom and then wash their hands afterwards.  Let's me give it to you from a stark contrast - that means from 91% to 67% of men DON'T wash their hands after going to bathroom!  "Elizabeth! I'm coming HOME!"(Fred Sanford)

So what have I been doing since I heard and read of these dismal statistics two years ago. Well, I'm embarrassed to say - after I wash my hands. I would then dry my hands and with the towel I would use it to open the bathroom door.  I've been doing that for two years!  Am I an OCD?  Mary Ellen would crack up laughing if she even thinks I have any vestige of obsessive compulsive disorder.  What's the opposite of an OCD?  Or what's an antonym of OCD?

It gets worse...  If I know someone went to bathroom and then came back and we're chatting and he is about to go home and reaches out to shake hands.  At first this was a conundrum!  But alas I solved it !  I would give the guy the fist bump - that way I don't have to shake his hand.

Now you know why I hate those hand air-dryers!  They don't give me a towel that I can use to open the bathroom door!!!!

I'll leave you with this old joke:

A Harvard man and a Yale man are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The Harvard man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Yale man immediately makes for the exit.

The Harvard man says, "At Hah-vahd they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate."

The Yale man replies, "At Yale they teach us not to pee on our hands."

Monday, July 26, 2010

Isn't this where...

We came in?  (Pink Floyd)

Hello... Hello! Is there anybody out there?

Wow! It has been since December 5th, 2009 that I've posted my last post! I thought it was several months ago but never realized that it is more than 7 months ago. Time sure flies by when you're having fun!

So in a nutshell - what happened since December 5th 2009.  Well let me give you some macro-picture and leave the details later.

New Job - I'm working in my dream career - at a local hedge fund.  Our firm specifically trade derivatives known as futures.  Really neat and the job is quite fascinating. I've told Mary Ellen, my lovely flame, that a bad day at Eclipse (my current company) is better than my best day at Merrill Lynch.

New Car - we bought a Buick Lucerne. I love it. Mary Ellen, on the other hand, is not overly fond of it. She has reminded me several times that I'm an old man in a young man body.  Why would she say something like that?  I happen to like bow ties and I only wear boxers (you'll never, EVER catch me wearing grippers, tightie-waddies or banana-hammock).  I like to wear seersucker suit and two-tone oxford shoes and I love Buicks!  Does that make me an old man?  I think not...  Well I do have to admit that I'm kind of fond of Bay Rum cologne (which you won't find in our house as Mary Ellen will pour it down the drain at the first smell).  I love Old Spice deodorant (refuse to use anything else).  Does that make me an old man just because I like a few things traditional? NOT! I do happen to like old books, dusty books - I love the Puritans fromt he 1600's. I love the sweet smell of history emanating from the pages of books.  In short, I love to read. Which is why I have not been writing much  in the last few months and this brings me to my next excuse:

Reading - I've been on a tear. Reading, reading and more reading.  Mostly finance books, historical books and fiction - pretty much everything. Right now I'm reading the 6th Harry Potter.  After that I should be reading some good Puritans....

Housework - Been working on my house. I hate honey-do's!  I wish  the Roomba Company (the company that makes Roomba Vacuum Cleaning Robot) would develop a Roomba Lawn Mower!  I would camp overnight for this Roomba Lawn Mower and be the first one in line to buy such an automatic lawn mower.

Kids - Gigi and Oliver! They're growing up really quick.  Everyday they're always coming up with new things to do or new things to say or what have you. They are such a joy and delight except...when they misbehave. Now you really want to kill them. But I digress...  Gigi and Oliver are very different.  Gigi loves the limelight and has a flair for the dramatic - now where did she get such a trait. Not me -I'm just an old man in a young man body!  Oliver is a mixture of Dennis the Menace and Bob the Builder.  That's the best way I can describe him for now.  Lately, he, um, hem, hem (cough) has discovered that he, um, hem,hem (cough) has this biological apparatus from his bottom.  That makes for some really interesting conversations...  I'm usually speechless or I would have a deer in the headlight look when he did something with rhymes with my Uncle-in-law's name: Denis.  Seriously, I do have an Uncle-in-law and his name is Denis.  Actually, the family calls him Dennis even though his name is spelled Denis.  And for the LIFE of me, I don't KNOW why I keep forgettting this but almost EVERYTIME I talk to him I would always say his name wrong. I would say hey Uncle Denis (again it rhymes with Penis) when I should be saying "Din - Ness"  but no I had to embarrass myself in front of the family by saying, "Hey Uncle Deen Nis!"  Geesh, cowards have died a thousand deaths and I've died many more times cube!

I need to stop as I could write on forever. Will post some more later...